This is going to be a bit of an awkward post…
I may have to edit it a few times to get the tone right…
Bear with me in this awkward post, and if you think we’re a match, I’m putting myself out there hoping I can dig up a new friend or two.
As time has gone by and people have left SL, I’m finding myself getting thin on SL friends. I’ve hit that point where I’m hoping there are some people out there that would enjoy my company and with whom I would enjoy being with.
Its time to try to find some new friends around here.
If you’re up for an active SL friend, toss me an IM. Don’t send me a friend invite – those are really awkward before you know someone well. I’m not a Facebooker, I need to get to know somebody and spend time with them often enough before I feel like they belong on my friend list.
I don’t know how better to do this, so I’m just going to list off some things. Things I enjoy doing in SL, types of people I’d be interested in, some things about me, and of course types of people I know I am not compatible with. And then follow it up with my usual wordy essay on things and stuff.
This is not meant to be exclusive or something. I’m just hoping it can be a way to build a connection to give an ‘opening line’ to start things up.
What I enjoy in Second Life:
- Hanging out and chatting someplace cozy, like people’s SL homes, small hangouts, and remote explore-able spots.
- Having guests over to my SL home or other spot of land. Visiting others on theirs.
- Dancing my avatar to enjoyable music, watching others dance as well.
- Virtual Sailing. I really enjoy exploring SL waterways and oceans.
- Virtual Driving. I enjoy driving SL vehicles almost as much as sailing.
- Fashion Shopping at places that are not busy when I go so it can be social.
- Shopping for quirky knick-knacks to rez here and there on our SL land.
- Talking about left-wing Progressive politics and social issues.
- Mesh bodies and accessories for them.
- SL Nudity. Of late I prefer to be nude in SL anywhere that will allow it.
Things I’ve wanted to try but have never gotten far with:
- SL Roleplay. I just can’t find a theme that I can sync with unless it already has cliques that look impossible to break into. I need serious hand-holding on this one.
- SL Philosophy venues. Where did these go? I remember them as a newbie.
- The whole furry community. It seems interesting but I’ve never found the right ‘glue’ to make it stick.
- SL Live Music. If I could find a ‘clique’ to go to these with, I think I’d really enjoy it.
People who have interests in one of more of these things are people I’ve found easy to be friends with in past:
- Left-wing Progressives. People of like political mind – I can’t seem to find them here.
- Artists. I’m an art freak. Many of us are.
- Hippies. I’m not one, but I like them.
- People that just like to chat a lot, about things and stuff and whatever. I can sit for hours and just chat.
- Hispanic communities (that can speak English, as I don’t speak Spanish even though I am second generation from South America). Circumstances left me cut from my roots.
- Multi-cultural communities. In school my thing was international law and ethnic studies. I love meeting people from ‘over-there-istan’.
- People with their own quirks, who I can manage to entertain.
- People that want to socially explore Second Life, even the parts we’ve “already been to”.
Some key things about me:
- I am always a Neko or a cat furry in dreads. I won’t take these off to go someplace.
- My avatar is African, but I am mulato (Asian, South American Indian, European, and a small bit of West-African).
- I am hyper political, left wing, progressive. All about equal right, justice, unions, environment, and similar issues.
- I am Rasta, that is a religion – not a style of party or music.
- I can be hyper-shy at times, but over-talkative at others.
- My education is in the social sciences, my profession is in technology.
- I wear the term ‘Social Justice Warrior’ with pride.
- I keep up with the writings of some of the Black Panthers and have corresponded with them in the past, but am not a member. I was however in La Raza when I was in college, as well as in the Native American Student Union. Didn’t keep up with either after though. I did not join the Asian Student Union at my university as they, in that one school, were quietly not welcoming of mixed people.
- I have a strong geeky side, loving science fiction and fantasy. I love Star Trek, I loved Harry Potter, I’m fond of Dr. Who, Avatar was one of my favorite movies, I find my Hulu list is mostly super-hero TV shows, but I can’t stand Game of Thrones.
- I am feeling the Bern.
People I have found I am not good at sustaining friendships with, and things I don’t enjoy:
- Conservatives – I can be cordial with them, but friendships never last.
- Libertarians – Diametrically opposed world views, always ends in a fight.
- Hetero men & gay men that act controlling. It just gets uncomfortable after a while.
- Lesbian Women that are seeking intimate relationships.
- Anyone that feels a need to focus on & repeatedly point out how ‘sexy’ they find my avatar.
- Roleplay that recreates points in history where people of color or other ethnic groups were brutalized.
- Roleplay of slavery (ie: I do not get on with the Gorean scene).
- Any venue flying a Nazi or Dixie flag, or similar flag / symbol of hate.
- Country music.
- RLV, Couple dances, HUG animations, Line dance systems, and similar things where I’m part of a group sequence and no longer in control of my avatar without breaking the ‘social encounter’.
- Being hassled about trying RL Nudism. If you start lecturing me on this I’m out.
- SL Sex. I don’t do it, period. Tried that as a newbie and found it was not my thing.
- People that just hang out by themselves and IM me once in a blue moon but otherwise become forgotten entries on the Friend List.
The wordy essay part:
Once again this is kind of an awkward post…
I’ve wanted to write this blog entry for about 4 years now, and its felt super weird and awkward, and kind of embarrassing, each time. But I’ve noticed I’m not the only oldbie with this problem. It gets lonely when the people you started with have moved on.
If you read my blog you probably have some ideas about me. Probably some of them are even correct.
I originally tired Second Life in 2006 for about 2 days, but didn’t come back as a regular user until 2009. So I’ve been here 6 and just over a half years now.
I once read that most people who join Second Life only last with it about a year and a half, and that feels about right for what happened with most of the friends I met when I was new. So for most of my Second Life time my circle of friends has just been a very small few number of people, and whole lot of acquittances. I’ve reached that point in Second Life where you even nod at the people you really don’t like because you’re mutual survivors of some form of online culling…
New users have it a lot easier on this score. People expect newbies to not know anyone, to be approachable, and newbies themselves haven’t yet become ‘hung up’ on ‘what the rules are’ (or whatever…) and so don’t refrain from just landing on your head and starting a conversation like it was normal or something.
After we reach a certain point in SL, we start developing ideas about what we should be doing – even where those ideas are very different, everyone ends up with their own set of expectations. But even worse – other people stop assuming you’re looking for help… and start giving you “respectable space”…
Spending way too much time by myself lost in my own thoughts. Share some of your thoughts with me.
So my Second Life has gotten a bit lonely of late. I’m feeling a need to make some friends again and I don’t really know where to go as an ‘oldbie’ to find them.
I really enjoy just hanging out with some people in a not too busy cozy place and chatting. I’m not very good at being superficial, so large casual social things always feel awkward to me.
I’ve been really enjoying Second Life sailing. This is something I’ve liked for a long time, and my enthusiasm for it tends to be directly tied to my ability to find places I can go naked sailing. Real Life me can’t get into open water. I’m a natural born swimmer but I get panic attacks. When I was a toddler I had a babysitter that wanted to see Jaws, and had to take care of me… so he met both needs by sneaking me into the theater… I try to get my water fix in Second Life.
You can have a lot of fun with SL Sailing. It ranges from relaxing on a wide open sim, to a crazy game of timing sail adjustments.
I love SL dancing because I love watching the animations of a nice well designed avatar moving. I used to do a lot of dancing in clubs in my real life when I was younger. I love to see each avatar in its own unique dance. I really like to see avatars that are of quality and interesting to look at. Entertain me visually and I will entertain you visually.
But I’m a bit picky about music… so I don’t end up in SL clubs because they’re all playing the same selection of pop, rock (some of it – but I like 60s/70s rock), metal, or country. And that’s 3 things I can’t relate to. I enjoy Roots and Rasta Reggae. I enjoy Hip Hop and Rap if it has a positive mindset. Soul, Salsa, World Music, Blues – I’m good with those too. Pretty much anything except country, pop, metal, and rock. People always tell me I could go to SL dance clubs and just play my own music – but then my avatar would be ‘out of sync’ with things. Yeah I know that is silly but in my mind as I watch my avatar I sync her motions to the music… and if I actually know the music around her is not the music I am hearing, I “feel” out of sync…
SL Shopping. It has been a very long time since I’ve had SL shopping friends. Since about half a year into my being in Second Life actually. Somehow I keep making friends with the people who don’t like to buy anything. I want to have friends I can go places with, play dress up with, tell me an outfit looks good but another one sucks, suggest a different sofa, listen to me suggest a different arm chair, and so on.
I enjoy shopping in the quirky low traffic spots that have unusual items in them.
I also enjoy shopping for fitmesh clothing. Go on the off-days of events when the crowds are not there and you can actually have some fun. Perhaps my biggest frustration over the years in SL was that none of my friends partook in SL fashion, except for when I was a newbie and had friends who would do MM boards but never buy. I really like to play around with outfits, and often when with friends I’ll keep changing and talking about the choices. I’d really like to meet some people who enjoy doing the same thing.
This is my normal outfit these days. Its not an invitation to something, its just how I feel.
Second Life nudity / nudism. I really love to run around on a naked avatar. Neko or Cat Furry. It feels more natural to me. Unlike the ‘naturist’ types I also like to make my avatar very sensual in her dress, and I find this to also be perfectly natural. This can really confuse some people who are looking for ‘sexy time’ in Second Life… because that is the last thing I am seeking. I just love to be naked in Second Life. The circumstances of my Real Life make this a non-option, though it has always fascinated me. Ever since I first came to Second Life I have dabbled in it on and off again. And this being Second Life I don’t feel a need to follow the ‘constraints’ that real life nudists adhere to where they shame people who feel sensual or erotic about nudity. But I also don’t feel the need to see nudity as an invitation to something.
I like to spice up my nude look sometimes. Its fun, sensual, and feels good to do.
I would love to have some friends that equally enjoyed that, and that sought to spice up their avatars for a sensually nude experience (ie: get a mesh body, a good skin, a good AO, and match your parts to your body, and add accessories to enhance).
So I’m putting myself out there. Hoping to breath some life back into Second Life for myself and whoever I hang out with.
I’m looking for just a few quirky people, who might enjoy a good portion of the same things as me, who didn’t freak out at the nude pictures above, and whether old or new or in between with Second Life – want to enjoy it with others.
If you’ve wondered about getting to know me, send me a message in Second Life.