Stuff and Things – as SL gets kind of solo even as I go to more places…

27414259970_02798ba749_oSo its been a long while since I updated my blog.

The upgrade to Firestorm that brought the much needed Jellies came, and I see lots of flat out stupid people dialing up so they don’t see Jellies and can ignore this rather than trying to reduce their lag

The update to Belleza came, and it was a resounding successful improvement. But I still see merchants not including Belleza when the dev kits for Belleza are available now…

I have more or less adopted a clothes-free SL-lifestyle now. In part I just feel comfortable this way. I don’t get anyone being shy about a cartoon in a video game on their computer screen and its fun to run around like this and imagine if I could really do this. In part its a personal statement against all those people who refuse to sell me things because they’ve yet to support Belleza…🙂

And its just fun.

No I am not a nudist in real life so you can stop IMing me that question. I personally think real life nudists are willfully foolish in their insistence that nudity is not sensual. Made all the more obvious by the fact that their sims in SL are full of xxx-poses behind every corner. Even the ones like Eden (where I am not allowed because they don’t allow people that look like me) that ban that in public have it inside so many of the buildings…

Then again I get that they probably do this because of fears of real-life crackdowns if they admitted the truth about the sensuality.

I keep meaning to write three articles here…


Standing about rather than getting things done…

About how I use Firestorm now that I do use it. I’ve been opposed to TPVs for years so this is new for me but I tend to deep-dive into things I do so I’m already helping others. But there is also a lot I could still learn.

As an aside to help explain why I’m on Firestorm now:

A great quote I don’t remember the source on is ‘have loosely held deep beliefs‘. I think I heard it on the Tim Ferris podcast… This is to say that you should get to know and very strongly advocate the positions you hold – or they are not worth holding. But you should be ready to abandon them in a moment if they should prove flawed or false. Be an advocate, and activist, but have no loyalty. Loyalty is for the ignorant. Principle and ethics are what should guide.

So this article would be both about how I use Firestorm now, and why. With the note that I could drop them in a moment if the winds changed and they were no longer an ideal choice.

The biggest gain for me in Firestorm was the built in AO. Yes this very old feature that the rest of you know about. It cut about 3mbs off my script count because I figured out how to use it to be a my own ‘dance engine’ and not just AO. Hint: put all your dances into the stand category of a ‘second AO’, set that one to cycle as desired, and switch to it when you want to dance. Can’t share dances? Big deal, I can’t stand line dancing anyway. Firestorm’s other features are handy but I could survive losing them. But this one reduced my lag – so it actually helps not just me but also those around me.

I want to write about how severely Second Life is a ‘white space’ and how alienating this is to me as a person of color. SL is a very unfriendly and uncomfortable place for me a lot of the time. Everything is just too ‘white’. This is an article that would not win me many friends… Because white people are very fragile when it comes to talking about race – they generally cannot handle facing reality exposed. I lost a few friends just with each shift in tone on my avatars skin… So I’m pretty sure if I were honest with them about how racially charged SL is, I’d clean the slate of the ones I have left… Since it is so ‘white space’, so ‘ethnic’ for their ethnicity, they don’t see it – they are in their comfort zone in SL. But to such a degree that it is alienating for the rest of us. Insert token other person of color here pointing out to me how wrong I am because they’re are more white-minded than me even though less white-bodied than me – a person who does not get the difference between individual and systemic.

Actually my favorite example of this – combing both ‘white fragility’ with ‘you are not colored enough’ was a blond haired blue eyed pale as a ghost but not albino woman saying she was African American and so I, as a Mulatto mostly Asian/Indigenous mix had no place speaking from the POV of a person of color… Which she did elsewhere rather than ever approaching me…

Even this article will get me into ‘trouble’. I need to do a new updated review of Belleza. The new versions of the body are amazingly well done. Belleza is now the lowest lag mesh body option out there, it holds up the best to changes in the shape dials and avatar physics, it looks really nice, and it has a wide list of options in customizing.

I feel merchants under-support it, and over supports significantly inferior bodies like Maitreya. Now remember my idea of ‘loosely help deep beliefs’. My first review of these panned Belleza as bad and at the time I was getting ready to promote Maitreya. But over time I saw Belleza fix every issue it had, put in more improvements, and all while Maitreya’s flaws were fundamental to the design and not fixable without ruing compatibility with all past clothing. Note that Belleza had the same problem (but to a lesser degree)… and this is why ‘Isis’ was put out to replace ‘Venus’…

Maitreya’s problem, in a nutshell, is all in your bosom. It deforms when you get just a little big big or small, and it has horrible avatar physics that leave it unable to look naturally weighty – but instead kind of springy with a ‘boing boing’ jerky bounce if you try to make it have a lot of motion (as it should if you are nude – if you meet me in SL you will see my bosom swaying all over the place. Now go topless and run around and notice your boobs are not going to run in the same direction as you… But on Maitreya, they will just bounce like a yo-yo on drugs). This is not to say Belleza is perfect. I still don’t have the sway of real life. But its the closest to it I’ve been able to get to so far. Only Lena Lush comes close – but that body is very high ‘Avatar Complexity Index’ and doesn’t have many alpha cuts. Mind you now that I am an SL-Nudist Lena Lush and Lena Perky are actually decent choices: They are mod and you can delete the parts that make it high ‘Avatar Complexity Index’ (the applier layers), and if you’re always nude you don’t care about alpha cuts…


Maybe I will write those articles and maybe I won’t. The points they will hope to make are now ‘out there in part’. The arguments I would use to back those points… that would take more writing. Though I fully expect I will end up having to moderate some comments to this blog article in regards to my comment about SLs ethnic biases and Maitreya’s flaws.


Hey naturists: Tell me again how nudity is not sensual or erotic?

All of that said… Since I am an SL nudist these days, I have been seeking places I could go while nude, and trying to build a ’24/7′ list of places that will let me be as I desire to be.

Right now that list is basically these venues, which includes several spots that are listed as ‘pickup joints’ but which in actual use are just hangout spots.

  • Naked – the only place I have a rental lot. 10 sailing sims. It is started to lessen in activity because it lacks good focal points. There is a popular hangout spot by the landing point but it is all chairs so the people there just sit and be boring. I feel a redesign to get them up and maybe moving or dancing, or at least to mix the seats with spots to stand or dance, would help. I also think removing ALL the furniture from there and moving the landing spot to the south of the sim just across from a clubhouse down there would greatly help the place…
  • ~ Hydra ~
    I go here when I spot enough green dots. Its a trance / euro-something dance place. The info encourages nudity but its rare to see. Though on some days for reasons I don’t know half the crowd will be nude. Curiously I did see them boot a furry out of the joint even though there is no sign anywhere that says no furries allowed… so I do have one DJ there now that I avoid.
  • [SMASH]
    Basically the same kind of music as Hydra. The place also allows nudity though I was told recently that it used to not allow such. I wondered if I was welcome, until a manager took the time to have a conversation with me and be welcoming. After all you can never trust the ‘hello [avatar name]’ that pops up when you teleport into a place… I usually don’t respond to those with any more than a ‘/me waves’ because I am not sure if they’re just scripted messages…Generally I like SMASH, but it moves the event around the sim and 2 or 3 of the spots they use are extremely laggy – as in I drop to 1 to 5fps… even with graphics turned down, and in one of them, if I end up there, I have to ‘force quit’ out of SL and relog in to another sim… But as long as they don’t cycle into those spots the place is enjoyable.
  • BLACK VOLCANO BEACH – I’ve known about this one for a while but generally avoided it because everytime I went they were playing some kind of metal… Recently started sticking it out to find that not all of the DJs are metal. As long as they aren’t playing metal I can sit here and enjoy the place.

Now I’ve just shared 4 places, 3 of which are dance clubs. This is my problem in SL these days… Dance clubs in SL are places to be alone in a crowd.

The 4th place, Naked… is serious ‘white space’. To the point that most of the people there don’t even greet or talk to me when I pop in. So I’ve been lessening how often I go. I have this impression that as the non-white avatar appears, people just shift to IMs… True or not… I don’t know. But I feel alienated there on a good two-thirds of my visits. I will need to put a white alt together again and see if there’s a difference.

  • Commune Utopia – I used to go here a lot, and still go often when I see a crowd. Its semi- welcoming. People will talk but not to the degree I’d like. The build is too dense though – giving me enough lag that to walk from one spot to another it is easier to just teleport. Even with short distances of less than a few meters. They recently moved one event to a beach spot that was on a very narrow pier – making this even worse, as I generally cannot find a spot to even stand. That said if they’re doing events on their ‘main floor’ and people are there, there’s plenty of open room there and walls that block laggy outside items from slowing up the graphics. Though of late the events there have been under-attended.
  • Old Lar’s – this is a spot I keep meaning to start going to. I’ve snuck in on alts a few times and found it OK. Just a dance club though so again it is being alone in a crowd. I have yet to make it a regular spot because it is one of those places with people dancing on bar tables and I just don’t get why a bad movie from 2000 (Coyote Ugly) has become ‘the thing to recreate’ in Second Life clubs… It’s the same reason why I don’t attend the ‘CMNF Lounge‘ – all they do is dance on the bar… Not to mention too many people on old pre-mesh avatars. :)So why mention Old Lar’s if its not even a hangout for me? It’s indicative of my search issue. All I can find for places that welcome nudity and are always busy are clubs where you sit there alone in a crowd. And something about the theme tends to jar at me. I imagine it is perfect for the regulars. This is a bit of what I mean by Second Life being so severely a ‘white space’. These places are too ‘ethnic’, as in ‘white ethnic’. So many white people will read that line as an attack… and then feel like a Soca or Hip-Hop club is too ‘ethnic’ and not see the contradiction… Its not about places being intentionally hostile – its just about the perspective the scene is made from and for. I’ll try to avoid getting too started on the ‘Reggae’ clubs in SL – they all remind me of the kind of joint you’d find inside of a tourist hotel in Jamaica rather than out in the community… Either they’re clean and hippie, or they are ‘Rentafari’ XXX joints (in fact many of the ‘hip-hop’ venues in SL seem like ‘tourist’ spots rather than for people ‘in the life’ – the avatars in them are just too ‘over the top’). Remember just because I’m an SL nudist does NOT mean I’m into the whole SL-sex scene.
  • Phil’s Cafe – this is pretty much exactly the kind of space I am looking for in Second Life. Only problem is that it is a weekly event that lasts one hour on a Thursday night… So what do I do with the rest of my week?At Phil’s, there is a weekly topic, and we talk. I can be dressed however I want and nobody cares. What matters is the topic. I do wish they’d update the furniture. I tend to just stand because the chairs all lack animations… This place is just a small box in the sky somewhere with some random diagrams on the walls and some prims you can sit on that are roughly shaped like couches – pre-sculpty furniture…But the fact that its discussion makes it appealing and I go. Granted every now and then it gets a libertarian coming in and the places goes downhill rapidly and they start spewing racist pseudo-economics or Ayn Rand pseudo-nazism. But the normal crowd is better behaved even though I’m pretty sure it has a few conservatives. There’s a few Philosophy groups in SL, but they’re either way too ‘white space’ stuck on Plato, or Libertarian. Even been to one that was a mix between Plato and Ayn Rand

If I could fill my week with places like Phil’s I would. I’ve been told I should host my own such venue. I did build one on my land, but I’ve had second thoughts about going ahead with it.

But instead I end up in a lot of places where I am alone in a crowd. Which has led to Second Life becoming a largely ‘solo-player game’ for me. I spend most of my time sitting in my skybox, sometimes elsewhere on my land, and then now and again alone in one of these crowds.


Too much time by myself in SL.

Sure I get IMs from people looking to meet me…

But they are often in one of two forms:

  1. Hey
  2. So here are these things about you. Now talk to me.

The first one… yeah, like… um… what do I say to a one word comment out of nowhere? Sometimes they manage to add a ‘baby’ on the end of it… Other times it manages a sentence that is usually a proposition and not to discuss politics…

The second one drives me even more nuts. This is the person who sends me a very detailed message. Pages, sometimes over days… but in it they never tell me a single thing about themselves or why or how or who or what to drive me to interest.

Instead the entire thing about their impressions of me.

I start to feel like an exhibit at a zoo.

I don’t want to be told about me. I want you to tell me about you and maybe some things about you we might have in common or could get together over.

I do realize here that I am sitting here asking other people to do the work of contacting me rather than getting out myself and contacting them… that is a valid problem. If I really want to meet people in Second Life, I need to become more outgoing…


Yeah, I need to start bugging other people instead of waiting for them to bug me.


Firestorm – Use Quick Prefs to set up Lag-Blocking of graphics heavy avatars

Lag Blocking of graphics heavy avatars is coming as a default feature in Second Life. I’ve covered this several times in the past, and it has been covered by other bloggers as well.

Once enabled, this feature will render laggy people as solid colors. The term ‘jelly’ has for some reason become popular in referring to this. The end result will be to protect you from crashes or slowdowns caused by people who are just wearing way too complex of items.

There is even a test viewer out there for seeing how this feature will eventually look and work.

All of the functionality for this is actually already in the current viewers, it just isn’t yet in your graphics preferences and Linden Lab is still trying to sort out things like ‘what to name the buttons’, ‘what messages to send to people when a lot of other people can no longer see them’ and ‘what should the default be set at’.

So in other words, a feature that will dramatically reduce lag and crashing in Second Life is being help up over what messages to put on your screen when you would be causing people around you to crash, so they have auto-hidden you from view… As for the default value… for the last several releases the number has not moved off of 80,000 – so the only important part of this actually seems resolved now…

On most viewers you can go into debug settings everytime you want to adjust this and tweak one of these values:

set this to “7” to enable all of this functionality. Any other value is treated as ‘off’.

RenderAutoMuteRenderWeightLimit – the value at which people vanish (invisible).
RenderAvatarComplexityLimit – the value at which people turn to a solid color. This numbers on this are not correct… So setting this to “54712” is the number to get ‘Jelly’ at Complexity 80,000.

QuickPrefsIconIn firestorm you can add these to Quick Prefs so that you can easily pull it up and turn it on or off, and tweak the values, if you don’t like what is happening. I often turn it off for a moment to see what I might be missing, and then turn it back it on so I don’t have lag issues. At other times, I play with numbers just to see where I can safely set it. The more crowded a place is, the lower I’ll set it (hiding more people), on a theory of using this to reduce my lag.

Click the wrench icon at the bottom right of Quick Prefs to add a new one or remove an exiting one. You can see here that my list is very different from the default setup of Firestorm. This is meant as a space for you to put the things you mess with a lot, and now you know the things I mess with a lot. And oops, my Draw Distance is super high there – kind of laggy to be above 96 – I just got back from sailing on Blake Sea where you have wide empty sims… and I forgot to lower it back down before making these.

Once you’re in the edit window, you can pull up a selector with all of the various debug settings. If you start to type in the name of the one you want, it will go to close to where your typing, so you don’t have to scroll through the entire long list of them:


Set each of them as I have in the screenshots below. Note that I set the the RenderAutoMuteFunctions to ‘integer’ and a value between 0 and 7. That’s important, because it only uses 0 and 7, and any other value used will be treated as garbage (it will work more or less like 0, but I’ve heard it can sometimes randomly hide things if not on 0 or 7).


I guess at one point they had plans for 1-6… but no more.


This is the value at which people go invisible. In Firestorm it matches to their Avatar Render Weight. In the coming changes this value is NOT included on graphics preferences, but is still in the debug settings.


This is the value at which people turn to solid colors (Jelly). In the official viewer this matches their Avatar Complexity. In Firestorm it is a little higher than their Avatar Render Weight – but not a consistent amount higher. So you will have to ‘wiggle the values’ a bit until you find the right number to use. Setting this to “54712” is the number to get ‘Jelly’ at Complexity 80,000.

And that is basically it. Once you have these values set like this, you can pull up Quick Prefs at any time and turn this feature on or off – to save lag or prevent yourself from crashing, or turn it on to see that laggy friend you’re trying to not say something too because they really like that one thing that they’re wearing that is melting your graphics card… /sigh…

Pretty “soon” (sometime between now and the fall of the Klingon Empire) this stuff will be added to the official viewer, and then rolled out to Firestorm and other viewers, all nice and packaged into the graphics preferences. Even once it is, it might be handy to still have quick access to it like this. I find I am tweaking these numbers all the time…


Why did I do all these shots off my belleza mesh body, mesh nipplesm mesh hair, mesh ears, mesh tail, prim eyes, and even sculpty teeth the way that I did?

Because as I’ve stated several times now… a lot of the mesh out there is actually pretty low on lag. With all this on, and even with clothes as well, I am quite often the lowest ‘Avatar Complexity’ person in a place I visit. You just have to start getting smart about what you put on – demo items for their avatar complexity before buying them.

SL Graphics Glitches when Max Particles set to Zero (Firestorm)

I don’t know if this is Firestorm specific, Mac Specific, or my own system. I’m posting this to see if others can reproduce it.

This is what I saw today when I went to my boat slip on a sim I often hang out in (well, excepting that when I first saw it, my avatar was being worn):


Notice the weird shape in the water at left, and how it slices into my body. The funny outline on my chest is the shape of a chair that is behind me. I took off all my attachments because my first thought was I wearing something that was configured wrong. That’s why I look so weird.

And yes… my Belleza Freya shape is THAT WEIRD when its not being used that that body. This is because Belleza Freya is pear shaped in a way I do not like… but it has the best reponse to shape dials… so while it starts out as my least favorite mesh body, once I reshape it, it becomes my favorite – enough so that I use it on all of my alts… (even some retired ones, I have bought I think, 7 copies of Belleza…)

Also notice at upper right – the inverse shadow i front of that boat.

Now, when I turn off all shaders, it goes away:


So I started worrying that my MacBook is frying… This is a $2800 laptop so that’s the kind of concern that has you looking at your budget… (OK, I got a friend who used to work for Apple, so I got the thing at a steep discount. Apple friends are like crack dealers – if you’re an addict, you need a good reliable one, and nobody else gets it…😛 ).

(PS: Normally if you hightlight transparency, things like my whiskers that are in Alpha Mask mode DO NOT get red outlines. But if you also turn off basic shaders, they do. This is a handy trick for finding lost alpha-masked prims… like that one you were editing outside your skybox and accidentally turned physical and then um… well yeah…)

So the MacBook uses:

OSX 10.11.4
Processor: 2.3 GHz Intel Core i7
Memory: 16 GB 1600 MHz DDR3
Graphics: NVIDIA GeForce GT 750M 2048 MB

So I decided to load up my alt on my old iMac and bring her over to see if I saw the same thing on the iMac:


Textures are a bit slow to load on my old 2011 iMac.

Same thing…

The iMac is:
OSX 10.11.4
Processor: 2.5 GHz Intel Core i5
Memory: 4 GB 1333 MHz DDR3
Graphics: AMD Radeon HD 6750M 512 MB

With some more testing I find this all goes away if I turn off ‘Advanced Lighting’, or, if with ‘Advanced Lighting’ on, I make sure ‘Maximum Particle Count’ is NOT set to 0.

Does anyone else see this? These images were shot at:

But I am guessing this can be replicated in any spot with water and objects in the background.

That said… it has since gone away… and I presently can’t reproduce it. Could this be something loading into the system VERY SLOWLY?


Second Life Mesh Avatar Bosom Comparison

Your avatar’s bosom is a very personal thing. Somewhere that gets a lot of attention and has a lot of self-identity wrapped around feeling naturally you. Only makes sense that getting a mesh body that looks “right” here can be very important.

This is also the area where the different mesh bodies seem to have the greatest amount of variation between brands. I have discarded more choices over how they conveyed this part of the anatomy than any other area. If it doesn’t look ‘right’, if it doesn’t move ‘right’ with avatar physics, it just isn’t me.

I’ve taken comparison screenshots of the bosoms of the Second Life fit-mesh avatars I own from the front and side, at the sizes of 30, 50, 75, and 100 in both ‘breast size’ and ‘buoyancy’.

I think it helps illustrate how different bodies perform.

This may help some in making choices between different mesh bodies.

Here you can see which of them ‘break’ at the larger extreme, as well as just how large each can get. I find that all but Belleza and The Mesh Project (TMP) break in the side view at much of these size ranges. And only those two brands plus Banned can handle size 30. While only those first two brands plus SalinA can handle size 100 (though SalinA at size 100 is comic-bookish, it still holds together the shape of its proper ‘design theory’).

All but the TMP one use an old freebie texture I used to give out, that is, well, too low quality to even be a freebie in today’s SL. TMP doesn’t allow people to make appliers for it unless they get on a very select approved list – no Omega system… so I had to use one of their appliers. It may look better, but that should be a massive red flag as it means you cannot use most skins you might want to use.

I’ve done the cheap texture for three reasons:

  • First in that I fully own it so I could hand it out to all my alts and anyone else who wants it for testing – letting me get a uniform look across all but TMP.
  • Second this texture doesn’t have anything in it to enhance the look of the bosom, so you can compare the the shape of the mesh itself, and not the tricks we all use to make it look better.
  • Third because it is not as ‘nice looking’ I’m hoping to avoid some of the common issues with SL Men who… have a very notable inability to control their own behavior upon seeing visuals of women… (as I noted recently in a post on my flickr, since rejoining SL Nudism, my mute list has been steadily gaining more and more male entries). Comments to this article from people who lack self-control will be moderated.

I’m putting this below a ‘fold’ so that people need to click in as the content is even more ‘in your face’ that the visuals in many of my other posts.

See below for some thumbnails, click them for the full sized images on flickr (because my blog’s stylesheet forces all images to no wider than 650 pixels).

It’s time to try to find some new friends in Second Life

This is going to be a bit of an awkward post…
I may have to edit it a few times to get the tone right…


Bear with me in this awkward post, and if you think we’re a match, I’m putting myself out there hoping I can dig up a new friend or two.

As time has gone by and people have left SL, I’m finding myself getting thin on SL friends. I’ve hit that point where I’m hoping there are some people out there that would enjoy my company and with whom I would enjoy being with.

Its time to try to find some new friends around here.

If you’re up for an active SL friend, toss me an IM. Don’t send me a friend invite – those are really awkward before you know someone well. I’m not a Facebooker, I need to get to know somebody and spend time with them often enough before I feel like they belong on my friend list.

I don’t know how better to do this, so I’m just going to list off some things. Things I enjoy doing in SL, types of people I’d be interested in, some things about me, and of course types of people I know I am not compatible with. And then follow it up with my usual wordy essay on things and stuff.

This is not meant to be exclusive or something. I’m just hoping it can be a way to build a connection to give an ‘opening line’ to start things up.

What I enjoy in Second Life:

  • Hanging out and chatting someplace cozy, like people’s SL homes, small hangouts, and remote explore-able spots.
  • Having guests over to my SL home or other spot of land. Visiting others on theirs.
  • Dancing my avatar to enjoyable music, watching others dance as well.
  • Virtual Sailing. I really enjoy exploring SL waterways and oceans.
  • Virtual Driving. I enjoy driving SL vehicles almost as much as sailing.
  • Fashion Shopping at places that are not busy when I go so it can be social.
  • Shopping for quirky knick-knacks to rez here and there on our SL land.
  • Talking about left-wing Progressive politics and social issues.
  • Mesh bodies and accessories for them.
  • SL Nudity. Of late I prefer to be nude in SL anywhere that will allow it.

Things I’ve wanted to try but have never gotten far with:

  • SL Roleplay. I just can’t find a theme that I can sync with unless it already has cliques that look impossible to break into. I need serious hand-holding on this one.
  • SL Philosophy venues. Where did these go? I remember them as a newbie.
  • The whole furry community. It seems interesting but I’ve never found the right ‘glue’ to make it stick.
  • SL Live Music. If I could find a ‘clique’ to go to these with, I think I’d really enjoy it.

People who have interests in one of more of these things are people I’ve found easy to be friends with in past:

  • Left-wing Progressives. People of like political mind – I can’t seem to find them here.
  • Artists. I’m an art freak. Many of us are.
  • Hippies. I’m not one, but I like them.
  • People that just like to chat a lot, about things and stuff and whatever. I can sit for hours and just chat.
  • Hispanic communities (that can speak English, as I don’t speak Spanish even though I am second generation from South America).  Circumstances left me cut from my roots.
  • Multi-cultural communities. In school my thing was international law and ethnic studies. I love meeting people from ‘over-there-istan’.
  • People with their own quirks, who I can manage to entertain.
  • People that want to socially explore Second Life, even the parts we’ve “already been to”.

Some key things about me:

  • I am always a Neko or a cat furry in dreads. I won’t take these off to go someplace.
  • My avatar is African, but I am mulato (Asian, South American Indian, European, and a small bit of West-African).
  • I am hyper political, left wing, progressive. All about equal right, justice, unions, environment, and similar issues.
  • I am Rasta, that is a religion – not a style of party or music.
  • I can be hyper-shy at times, but over-talkative at others.
  • My education is in the social sciences, my profession is in technology.
  • I wear the term ‘Social Justice Warrior’ with pride.
  • I keep up with the writings of some of the Black Panthers and have corresponded with them in the past, but am not a member. I was however in La Raza when I was in college, as well as in the Native American Student Union. Didn’t keep up with either after though. I did not join the Asian Student Union at my university as they, in that one school, were quietly not welcoming of mixed people.
  • I have a strong geeky side, loving science fiction and fantasy. I love Star Trek, I loved Harry Potter, I’m fond of Dr. Who, Avatar was one of my favorite movies, I find my Hulu list is mostly super-hero TV shows, but I can’t stand Game of Thrones.
  • I am feeling the Bern.

People I have found I am not good at sustaining friendships with, and things I don’t enjoy:

  • Conservatives – I can be cordial with them, but friendships never last.
  • Libertarians – Diametrically opposed world views, always ends in a fight.
  • Hetero men & gay men that act controlling. It just gets uncomfortable after a while.
  • Lesbian Women that are seeking intimate relationships.
  • Anyone that feels a need to focus on & repeatedly point out how ‘sexy’ they find my avatar.
  • Roleplay that recreates points in history where people of color or other ethnic groups were brutalized.
  • Roleplay of slavery (ie: I do not get on with the Gorean scene).
  • Any venue flying a Nazi or Dixie flag, or similar flag / symbol of hate.
  • Country music.
  • RLV, Couple dances, HUG animations, Line dance systems, and similar things where I’m part of a group sequence and no longer in control of my avatar without breaking the ‘social encounter’.
  • Being hassled about trying RL Nudism. If you start lecturing me on this I’m out.
  • SL Sex. I don’t do it, period. Tried that as a newbie and found it was not my thing.
  • People that just hang out by themselves and IM me once in a blue moon but otherwise become forgotten entries on the Friend List.

The wordy essay part:

Once again this is kind of an awkward post…


I’ve wanted to write this blog entry for about 4 years now, and its felt super weird and awkward, and kind of embarrassing, each time. But I’ve noticed I’m not the only oldbie with this problem. It gets lonely when the people you started with have moved on.

If you read my blog you probably have some ideas about me. Probably some of them are even correct.

I originally tired Second Life in 2006 for about 2 days, but didn’t come back as a regular user until 2009. So I’ve been here 6 and just over a half years now.

I once read that most people who join Second Life only last with it about a year and a half, and that feels about right for what happened with most of the friends I met when I was new. So for most of my Second Life time my circle of friends has just been a very small few number of people, and whole lot of acquittances. I’ve reached that point in Second Life where you even nod at the people you really don’t like because you’re mutual survivors of some form of online culling…

New users have it a lot easier on this score. People expect newbies to not know anyone, to be approachable, and newbies themselves haven’t yet become ‘hung up’ on ‘what the rules are’ (or whatever…) and so don’t refrain from just landing on your head and starting a conversation like it was normal or something.

After we reach a certain point in SL, we start developing ideas about what we should be doing – even where those ideas are very different, everyone ends up with their own set of expectations. But even worse – other people stop assuming you’re looking for help… and start giving you “respectable space”…


Spending way too much time by myself lost in my own thoughts. Share some of your thoughts with me.

So my Second Life has gotten a bit lonely of late. I’m feeling a need to make some friends again and I don’t really know where to go as an ‘oldbie’ to find them.

I really enjoy just hanging out with some people in a not too busy cozy place and chatting. I’m not very good at being superficial, so large casual social things always feel awkward to me.

I’ve been really enjoying Second Life sailing. This is something I’ve liked for a long time, and my enthusiasm for it tends to be directly tied to my ability to find places I can go naked sailing. Real Life me can’t get into open water. I’m a natural born swimmer but I get panic attacks. When I was a toddler I had a babysitter that wanted to see Jaws, and had to take care of me… so he met both needs by sneaking me into the theater… I try to get my water fix in Second Life.


You can have a lot of fun with SL Sailing. It ranges from relaxing on a wide open sim, to a crazy game of timing sail adjustments.

I love SL dancing because I love watching the animations of a nice well designed avatar moving. I used to do a lot of dancing in clubs in my real life when I was younger. I love to see each avatar in its own unique dance. I really like to see avatars that are of quality and interesting to look at. Entertain me visually and I will entertain you visually.

But I’m a bit picky about music… so I don’t end up in SL clubs because they’re all playing the same selection of pop, rock (some of it – but I like 60s/70s rock), metal, or country. And that’s 3 things I can’t relate to. I enjoy Roots and Rasta Reggae. I enjoy Hip Hop and Rap if it has a positive mindset. Soul, Salsa, World Music, Blues – I’m good with those too. Pretty much anything except country, pop, metal, and rock. People always tell me I could go to SL dance clubs and just play my own music – but then my avatar would be ‘out of sync’ with things. Yeah I know that is silly but in my mind as I watch my avatar I sync her motions to the music… and if I actually know the music around her is not the music I am hearing, I “feel” out of sync…

SL Shopping. It has been a very long time since I’ve had SL shopping friends. Since about half a year into my being in Second Life actually. Somehow I keep making friends with the people who don’t like to buy anything. I want to have friends I can go places with, play dress up with, tell me an outfit looks good but another one sucks, suggest a different sofa, listen to me suggest a different arm chair, and so on.

I enjoy shopping in the quirky low traffic spots that have unusual items in them.

I also enjoy shopping for fitmesh clothing. Go on the off-days of events when the crowds are not there and you can actually have some fun. Perhaps my biggest frustration over the years in SL was that none of my friends partook in SL fashion, except for when I was a newbie and had friends who would do MM boards but never buy. I really like to play around with outfits, and often when with friends I’ll keep changing and talking about the choices. I’d really like to meet some people who enjoy doing the same thing.


This is my normal outfit these days. Its not an invitation to something, its just how I feel.

Second Life nudity / nudism. I really love to run around on a naked avatar. Neko or Cat Furry. It feels more natural to me. Unlike the ‘naturist’ types I also like to make my avatar very sensual in her dress, and I find this to also be perfectly natural. This can really confuse some people who are looking for ‘sexy time’ in Second Life… because that is the last thing I am seeking. I just love to be naked in Second Life. The circumstances of my Real Life make this a non-option, though it has always fascinated me. Ever since I first came to Second Life I have dabbled in it on and off again. And this being Second Life I don’t feel a need to follow the ‘constraints’ that real life nudists adhere to where they shame people who feel sensual or erotic about nudity. But I also don’t feel the need to see nudity as an invitation to something.


I like to spice up my nude look sometimes. Its fun, sensual, and feels good to do.

I would love to have some friends that equally enjoyed that, and that sought to spice up their avatars for a sensually nude experience (ie: get a mesh body, a good skin, a good AO, and match your parts to your body, and add accessories to enhance).

So I’m putting myself out there. Hoping to breath some life back into Second Life for myself and whoever I hang out with.

I’m looking for  just a few quirky people, who might enjoy a good portion of the same things as me, who didn’t freak out at the nude pictures above, and whether old or new or in between with Second Life – want to enjoy it with others.

If you’ve wondered about getting to know me, send me a message in Second Life.


Is this your desktop? Simple tricks to cut OSX lag

Hey Mac folks, this desktop look familiar? Does it belong to you, did you leave it on my computer?


Seeing that this morning inspired me to dig up some old useful advice I’ve know for a while but never thought to share before.

Some simple advice on cutting lag on Mac OSX… Not Second Life lag, but system lag that specifically affects graphics performance… ie: Lag you will feel in SL that has absolutely nothing to do with SL…

This article’s advice generally comes from around the web. Much of it is something I found burried very deep in the pages of a forum thread on an MMO fan website through a random search some time back. The sort of place that could easily vanish someday.

It is the kind of advice useful for any Mac user, but specifically Mac users that use a lot of intense graphics. Like Second Life users.

Tip 1:

Have a blank desktop:


You can have background pictures, I only removed mine from the first screenshot to make what I was referring to obvious.🙂

This is an issue where OSX does a preview render of everything on your desktop. This includes things like text files. All of that is using up system resources… resources you could be using on SL.

Tip 2:

Don’t have 3,274 apps running at once. Don’t even have 3,273. Best to just have one. But if not that, just the ones you need right now.

To close an app you MUST do “Command-Q”. Hitting this button:

Doesn’t do anything but close that window. The application is still running and using up all its active resources.

OSX is NOT Windows… Hitting that red ‘X’ in Windows will close an application. In OSX it is the same thing as putting your head in the sand to ignore the lion gnawing on your left leg…

Tip 3:
I read advice that says avoid Firevault:

Yes you will go faster if you avoid it, but consider that the first confirmed encryption ransom malware has now occurred in OSX. I think this one might be better to call for safety over speed.

Tip 4:

Keep your system up to date. This one applies equally to OSX and Windows users. And don’t think you can escape it by hiding on some other OS either… whatever you use, keep it up to date. Updates will keep your graphics card working with enhancements, and keep away known security flaws. Most hacked systems are systems people were not updating.


(You don’t need Xcode unless you’re developing applications for OSX and iOS – which is part of what I do.)

Now we get into the ‘wait what?’ weird stuff…

Tip 5:

Repair your disk permissions. Because they routinely get out of step with what they should be, and if you’ve ever run an analytics report side by side with looking at console logs of what is going on in your application… you know this is a big pain… everytime a “minor oh it doesn’t REALLY matter we can fix that next release, we got bigger bugs right now” permission warning pops up… that uses resources for your applications to decide they can keep working despite that flaw…

This one is on you though, not the developers who made all your shiny programs. This one is because you used stuff, and then other stuff, and then stuff got confused, or stuff crashed before stuffing its stuff back into the stuff box before stuff could happen…

So just run this stuff and get your stuff in order…

Applications -> Utilities -> Disk Utility


Click the First Aid button


Tip 6:

Apple Icon -> System Preferences -> Accessibility
Reduce system UI Transparency. Those nice semi-transparent window borders in OSX… they use up a lot of graphics resources. Transparency in Second Life drives up the ‘Render Cost’ of something by a factor of 4 in their Draw Weight equation… This is done because it eats a lot of graphics resources. The same is true if you’re letting your computer’s operating system do it to all the bars on the edges of things that you’re probably not even looking at anyway. And being solid gives them more contrast to find your stuff, so its better to turn this off from a design perspective as well:

Tip 7:

Turns off everything from Spotlight you don’t absolutely need:
Apple Icon -> System Preferences -> Spotlight
Spotlight is just going to be constantly scanning your system for things to pre-fill into all of this, and that’s slowing you down. Keep it to the minimum of what you need.

If you really want to fully kill spotlight, type this into a terminal window:

sudo launchctl unload -w /System/Library/LaunchDaemons/

And this will turn it back on:

sudo launchctl load -w /System/Library/LaunchDaemons/

Tip 8:

Keep a lot of unused space around in your hard drive. If you have a LOT of files of data you like to have stored for ‘stuff’… get an external drive or cloud backup and keep all of those screenshots of your avatar in the free-xxx club… off of your hard disk.

Its useful to have your data on an external not-always connected disk anyway, in case your system ever gets hacked… you just laugh at the hackers as you reformat your operating system, and then plug your data drive back in and continue (OK that is still a major hassle, but at least it is a recovery plan).

Guys: There is no need to download all of those porn videos. The stuff is free and all over the internet anyway. Don’t fill up your disk with copies of porn… Obama isn’t taking your guns, and he isn’t coming to take your porn stash away either, because its all over the web anyway… Yeah I know, you can clear up about 70% of your hard drive if you delete those files…
And it will be a lot less embarrassing in church next Sunday when Obama finally does send the FBI in to take your guns and ship you to a FEMA camp and they see what’s on your computer…😛

Free space on the drive means more space to used for caching, and for applications to be installed without fragmentation.

Do NOT go out and get some third party “clean up your disk” application. Even if other blogs about keeping a clean system suddenly shift into marketing mode halfway through and tell you to get their app.

Guess where malware comes from?

Tip 9:

Get the application gfxcardstatus. Oh yeah… I just told you not to go out and get crazy third party apps. Now I’m telling you to go out and get some crazy third part app.


This only applies to Mac users that have a Mac with a graphics card. Welcome to the reason the VR companies have said they aren’t even bothering with us Mac people… Most Macs don’t have graphics cards… but use an integrated board solution. A high end Mac is often graphically no better than a $300 PC…

It hurts to say that, as a Mac user… but it is true. For most Macs.

If you have a higher end Mac, and if you do you know about it already because you paid another $500-1000 for it and you weren’t stupid enough to pay all that without finding out why…

Well, if you do have one, you want the ability to actually tell it to use your graphics card when you load up something intense like Second Life.

Not only does OSX not tell you when it turns on your pricey GPU, it often only makse the decision to do so when its good for Apple’s marketing… So the shiny Apple apps that will run better with it will use it, many other apps won’t, and if you go into bootcamp and run Windows they will turn it on all the time so as to heat up your system and overtax things so that Windows seems to not perform as well…

I don’t have the solution for keeping it off when not needing it bootcamp side. I need to read up on that still.

But OSX side, you want “gfxcardstatus” so you can turn have it get turned on by default anytime you flip on an application that has 3D graphics, and flipped off otherwise:

You really want this one. Google it and read about it to be sure on the security issues.

Tip 10:

Disable uneeded notifications.
Apple Icon -> System Preferences -> Notifications
If you don’t NEED it, disable it. This is just slowing you down for spam most of the time.

Tip 11:

Apple Icon -> System Preferences -> Dock
Change the dock from Genie to Scale.
That Genie effect may look cool, but that coolness is at a cost of advanced rendering to warp a window and slide it around.

Tip 12:

Cut out startup applications:

Apple Icon -> System Preferences -> Users & Groups -> Login Items
If you don’t need it or recognize it, uncheck it or remove it.

Also check your Library:


You need to look at both LaunchAgents and LaunchDaemons.

Where I put “/Library” up there, also look in these two:


“~/” is a shorthand for: “/Users/[your computer account name]”

In the LaunchAgents and LaunchDaemons you want to delete anything that is not from apple or a source your recognize. Malware commonly gets into Macs by placing itself here.

If you find something on the list that looks like it might be important but you’re not sure – google it and look for a link that is on a website for info. Be wary of links about malware found elsewhere – I’ve had co-workers get malware by searching on how to clean out malware…

PS: If you are unlucky enough to get malware on your system, NEVER download an app to ‘easily clean out that malware’. Always follow the absurdly long overly complex manual instructions to clean it out by hand. They may be annoying and worded badly… but if you have to sit there and type in manual commands and find files the hard way, you can at least do so making sure you’re not adding in more malware…

Tip 13:

This one is highly technical.

PRAM / NVRAM Reset :
Shutdown your Mac:
Apple Icon -> Shutdown
NOT Restart or Sleep, but Shutdown.

Start your computer again & hold Alt+Cmd+P+R before the bootup noise.
This will reset your PRAM.
PRAM used to need regular resetting. These days it shouldn’t ever need it, but if your system has gotten a bit corrupted it will help.

SMC Reset:
Shutdown your Mac again:
Apple Icon -> Shutdown
NOT Restart or Sleep, but Shutdown.

From here it depends on how your battery is connected, if you have one.

Desktop or MacBook With Removable Battery
Shut down the computer.
Unplug the power adapter.
Remove the battery (if there is one – a desktop typically just needs to be unplugged).
Press and hold the power button for five seconds.
Replace the battery.
Plug in the power adapter.
Turn on the computer.

MacBook Without A Removable Battery
Shut down the computer.
Plug in the power adapter.
On the built-in keyboard, press the Shift, Control, and Option keys on the left side and the power button, all at the same time.
Release all three keys at the same time.
Turn on the computer.

A little side note for people in bad weather: Your computer can’t get friend in a power surge if its unplugged. If the power goes out, unplug all the expensive stuff in the house…


Judge not, lest ye be judged – an example of what that means


I get it with nudism – its about self identity, expression, and acceptance of the natural. For me at least. I do find it sensual, but also spiritual. Like SL Sailing, for me it is something I can do here that I cannot do in real life.

On “The SL Naturist” there is a recent post expressing frustration about places that the poster feels ought to allow nudity which don’t. Ok, this comes about 60% of the way through the article. The first half is about something different to which I agree with the blogger, but the segue is rather natural but leads into something I felt a need to comment on.

I can certainly relate, as in my exploration of Second Life Nudism I am finding a lot of venues that just do not want me around in this current state.

Chief among them, nudist venues… Because after all, I’m a Neko in Second Life: I wear cat ears, whiskers, a tail, and tiny fangs (most SL Nekos don’t do the whiskers or fangs).


I’ve been a Neko since I got here. I was a nudist at first too, but don’t have good pics of that.

So I’m seeing a bit of ‘judged by your own standard’ in this. I’ve made a bit of a comment, and decided to reflect on it more here:

A lot of things about what people expect to be “normal” carry through from RL into SL, and you get a lot of places that as such reject the notion of true self-image-exploration (a deeper level than just body acceptance, rather accepting the self image others find to explore).

Before criticizing all those places that reject nudity, look to all of the nudist sims that lock it down to ‘100% human avatar’ only. It is two forms of the same problem: a rooting in pushing one’s own notion of what kind of personal exploration is to be done onto others rather than just onto one’s own personal conduct.

A logical response to my comment of course points out that some social norms stick for good reason: rejecting ‘ageplay’ for example. While other things that are supposed to be rejected don’t get rejected, such as the rampant sexism and racism seen in SL despite both of these things being against the ToS as repugnant. But the best way to sum up how all of this should be looked at is the rule found in almost every faith or moral system: treat others with dignity, don’t do any harm, and realize you will be judged by your own standard.

Which comes back to my first point: if an SL nudist is frustrated with places that ban nudity that ought to allow it, they should begin by looking at the policies of the nudist venues they frequent – one’s own standard often comes back to oneself.

The disclaimer for my comments: I’m a frequent nudist in SL, who as a Neko is not allowed in most SL nudist venues. So my comment is “defensive”.

Its a lesson I’ve failed on myself as well, and I know from enough decades on this planet that I will fail on this again. So I’m not trying to say this from some high horse… but rather from both sides of being experienced here…SelfPortraitofaSelfPortrait

Judge not, lest ye be judged. We’ve all heard that phrase. This is what it means… that in all things you will be judged by the very methods and standards you use to judge others. So before you make any rules or judgements, do some serious thinking about what you are trying to achieve with that, why you’re setting up that standard, and if someone had something against your particular angle on life – if you’d be comfortable using your very standards against you.

That lesson goes beyond Second Life of course.

Here in Second Life, just consider that if you restrict others for reasons of your own comfort level or roleplay or self-exploratory goals; expect that some of those others will likewise restrict you for their own comfort and reasons that exist wholly outside your understanding.

Sometimes its best to try to be accepting. We all fail at that – but failure just means to pick oneself up and try a little better next time.


See, I did start as a nudist, but my pics back then had other issues… And can you believe this skin was labeled as “dark”, and actually was the darkest skin I could find as a newbie. That said, back in 2009 people accepted me almost everywhere I went, dressed like this and sometimes the other 2009 pic above.

 Oh and PS: I can’t go sailing in real life… because my reaction to water is very catty, even though I love the stuff and swim better than a fish. And I’m not a real life nudist because I live in the middle of a dense urban environment with not much room or space to get away and a background that didn’t even make it an option to ‘get out’ until I was in my 20s. So these are things I explore in SL.




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