White America wants me out.

Mad as I can get today…

38% of America’s white population believe non-whites are less-evolved. Make no mistake, last night in the USA was a whitelash. White Power is back in vogue in the USA. Yes both Candidates were white – but this was a rebuke of Obama as much as Clinton, and it was an embracing of a Racial Supremacist as President.

It is white America telling the rest of us they’d rather we were dead. That’s not why everyone voted the way they did – but it is why those who voted for Trump did it. It is all over his message. You either embraced that hate, or you cared so little for people of color that that hate didn’t matter to you – which is the same thing.

These racist crackers don’t want the rest of us around. I’m just about fed up with them.

Their racism was so strong, that a majority of white women voted for a man who’s proud of his history of sexual assault, just to send a message to us. They sold us out.

This issue, whether you’re Black, Asian, Native American, LatinX, or a Mulatto mix of all of these like me; has put a target on all of us.

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This BTW, is set to take a copy. copy/no-mod/trans

Racism, misogyny and religious intolerance have now been given a green light, and you need to understand that you will be under attack. You will be under attack from government policy. You will be under attack from the courts. You will be under attack from the police. You will be under attack on high school and college campuses. You will be under attack everywhere. Make no mistake: Donald Trump is as close to a strong-man fascist president as we’ve seen in our lifetime. And strong men don’t look for the middle; they demand everything they want.” – The Root

Solidarity is the key, if we’re ever going to stop them. It will take hard work even just to slow them down.

But don’t you dare try to tell me everything will work out and be OK, because it won’t;

“The upsetting part about last night wasn’t that democracy “died.” It’s that democracy worked. And the results showed that an overwhelming part of America does not want minorities here. This isn’t just another cyclical political party swing. It’s a loud and resounding message from white people telling minorities that we shouldn’t get too comfortable here. So yeah, we’re scared. And if you’re white, you don’t have to be. But please stop telling us that everything is going to be okay, because all signs point to “not okay.”

 

It’s time to try to find some new friends in Second Life

This is going to be a bit of an awkward post…
I may have to edit it a few times to get the tone right…

SLOffice.png

Bear with me in this awkward post, and if you think we’re a match, I’m putting myself out there hoping I can dig up a new friend or two.

As time has gone by and people have left SL, I’m finding myself getting thin on SL friends. I’ve hit that point where I’m hoping there are some people out there that would enjoy my company and with whom I would enjoy being with.

Its time to try to find some new friends around here.

If you’re up for an active SL friend, toss me an IM. Don’t send me a friend invite – those are really awkward before you know someone well. I’m not a Facebooker, I need to get to know somebody and spend time with them often enough before I feel like they belong on my friend list.

I don’t know how better to do this, so I’m just going to list off some things. Things I enjoy doing in SL, types of people I’d be interested in, some things about me, and of course types of people I know I am not compatible with. And then follow it up with my usual wordy essay on things and stuff.

This is not meant to be exclusive or something. I’m just hoping it can be a way to build a connection to give an ‘opening line’ to start things up.


What I enjoy in Second Life:

  • Hanging out and chatting someplace cozy, like people’s SL homes, small hangouts, and remote explore-able spots.
  • Having guests over to my SL home or other spot of land. Visiting others on theirs.
  • Dancing my avatar to enjoyable music, watching others dance as well.
  • Virtual Sailing. I really enjoy exploring SL waterways and oceans.
  • Virtual Driving. I enjoy driving SL vehicles almost as much as sailing.
  • Fashion Shopping at places that are not busy when I go so it can be social.
  • Shopping for quirky knick-knacks to rez here and there on our SL land.
  • Talking about left-wing Progressive politics and social issues.
  • Mesh bodies and accessories for them.
  • SL Nudity. Of late I prefer to be nude in SL anywhere that will allow it.

Things I’ve wanted to try but have never gotten far with:

  • SL Roleplay. I just can’t find a theme that I can sync with unless it already has cliques that look impossible to break into. I need serious hand-holding on this one.
  • SL Philosophy venues. Where did these go? I remember them as a newbie.
  • The whole furry community. It seems interesting but I’ve never found the right ‘glue’ to make it stick.
  • SL Live Music. If I could find a ‘clique’ to go to these with, I think I’d really enjoy it.

People who have interests in one of more of these things are people I’ve found easy to be friends with in past:

  • Left-wing Progressives. People of like political mind – I can’t seem to find them here.
  • Artists. I’m an art freak. Many of us are.
  • Hippies. I’m not one, but I like them.
  • People that just like to chat a lot, about things and stuff and whatever. I can sit for hours and just chat.
  • Hispanic communities (that can speak English, as I don’t speak Spanish even though I am second generation from South America).  Circumstances left me cut from my roots.
  • Multi-cultural communities. In school my thing was international law and ethnic studies. I love meeting people from ‘over-there-istan’.
  • People with their own quirks, who I can manage to entertain.
  • People that want to socially explore Second Life, even the parts we’ve “already been to”.

Some key things about me:

  • I am always a Neko or a cat furry in dreads. I won’t take these off to go someplace.
  • My avatar is African, but I am mulato (Asian, South American Indian, European, and a small bit of West-African).
  • I am hyper political, left wing, progressive. All about equal right, justice, unions, environment, and similar issues.
  • I am Rasta, that is a religion – not a style of party or music.
  • I can be hyper-shy at times, but over-talkative at others.
  • My education is in the social sciences, my profession is in technology.
  • I wear the term ‘Social Justice Warrior’ with pride.
  • I keep up with the writings of some of the Black Panthers and have corresponded with them in the past, but am not a member. I was however in La Raza when I was in college, as well as in the Native American Student Union. Didn’t keep up with either after though. I did not join the Asian Student Union at my university as they, in that one school, were quietly not welcoming of mixed people.
  • I have a strong geeky side, loving science fiction and fantasy. I love Star Trek, I loved Harry Potter, I’m fond of Dr. Who, Avatar was one of my favorite movies, I find my Hulu list is mostly super-hero TV shows, but I can’t stand Game of Thrones.
  • I am feeling the Bern.

People I have found I am not good at sustaining friendships with, and things I don’t enjoy:

  • Conservatives – I can be cordial with them, but friendships never last.
  • Libertarians – Diametrically opposed world views, always ends in a fight.
  • Hetero men & gay men that act controlling. It just gets uncomfortable after a while.
  • Lesbian Women that are seeking intimate relationships.
  • Anyone that feels a need to focus on & repeatedly point out how ‘sexy’ they find my avatar.
  • Roleplay that recreates points in history where people of color or other ethnic groups were brutalized.
  • Roleplay of slavery (ie: I do not get on with the Gorean scene).
  • Any venue flying a Nazi or Dixie flag, or similar flag / symbol of hate.
  • Country music.
  • RLV, Couple dances, HUG animations, Line dance systems, and similar things where I’m part of a group sequence and no longer in control of my avatar without breaking the ‘social encounter’.
  • Being hassled about trying RL Nudism. If you start lecturing me on this I’m out.
  • SL Sex. I don’t do it, period. Tried that as a newbie and found it was not my thing.
  • People that just hang out by themselves and IM me once in a blue moon but otherwise become forgotten entries on the Friend List.

The wordy essay part:

Once again this is kind of an awkward post…

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I’ve wanted to write this blog entry for about 4 years now, and its felt super weird and awkward, and kind of embarrassing, each time. But I’ve noticed I’m not the only oldbie with this problem. It gets lonely when the people you started with have moved on.

If you read my blog you probably have some ideas about me. Probably some of them are even correct.

I originally tired Second Life in 2006 for about 2 days, but didn’t come back as a regular user until 2009. So I’ve been here 6 and just over a half years now.

I once read that most people who join Second Life only last with it about a year and a half, and that feels about right for what happened with most of the friends I met when I was new. So for most of my Second Life time my circle of friends has just been a very small few number of people, and whole lot of acquittances. I’ve reached that point in Second Life where you even nod at the people you really don’t like because you’re mutual survivors of some form of online culling…

New users have it a lot easier on this score. People expect newbies to not know anyone, to be approachable, and newbies themselves haven’t yet become ‘hung up’ on ‘what the rules are’ (or whatever…) and so don’t refrain from just landing on your head and starting a conversation like it was normal or something.

After we reach a certain point in SL, we start developing ideas about what we should be doing – even where those ideas are very different, everyone ends up with their own set of expectations. But even worse – other people stop assuming you’re looking for help… and start giving you “respectable space”…

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Spending way too much time by myself lost in my own thoughts. Share some of your thoughts with me.

So my Second Life has gotten a bit lonely of late. I’m feeling a need to make some friends again and I don’t really know where to go as an ‘oldbie’ to find them.

I really enjoy just hanging out with some people in a not too busy cozy place and chatting. I’m not very good at being superficial, so large casual social things always feel awkward to me.

I’ve been really enjoying Second Life sailing. This is something I’ve liked for a long time, and my enthusiasm for it tends to be directly tied to my ability to find places I can go naked sailing. Real Life me can’t get into open water. I’m a natural born swimmer but I get panic attacks. When I was a toddler I had a babysitter that wanted to see Jaws, and had to take care of me… so he met both needs by sneaking me into the theater… I try to get my water fix in Second Life.

SLSailing.png

You can have a lot of fun with SL Sailing. It ranges from relaxing on a wide open sim, to a crazy game of timing sail adjustments.

I love SL dancing because I love watching the animations of a nice well designed avatar moving. I used to do a lot of dancing in clubs in my real life when I was younger. I love to see each avatar in its own unique dance. I really like to see avatars that are of quality and interesting to look at. Entertain me visually and I will entertain you visually.

But I’m a bit picky about music… so I don’t end up in SL clubs because they’re all playing the same selection of pop, rock (some of it – but I like 60s/70s rock), metal, or country. And that’s 3 things I can’t relate to. I enjoy Roots and Rasta Reggae. I enjoy Hip Hop and Rap if it has a positive mindset. Soul, Salsa, World Music, Blues – I’m good with those too. Pretty much anything except country, pop, metal, and rock. People always tell me I could go to SL dance clubs and just play my own music – but then my avatar would be ‘out of sync’ with things. Yeah I know that is silly but in my mind as I watch my avatar I sync her motions to the music… and if I actually know the music around her is not the music I am hearing, I “feel” out of sync…

SL Shopping. It has been a very long time since I’ve had SL shopping friends. Since about half a year into my being in Second Life actually. Somehow I keep making friends with the people who don’t like to buy anything. I want to have friends I can go places with, play dress up with, tell me an outfit looks good but another one sucks, suggest a different sofa, listen to me suggest a different arm chair, and so on.

I enjoy shopping in the quirky low traffic spots that have unusual items in them.

I also enjoy shopping for fitmesh clothing. Go on the off-days of events when the crowds are not there and you can actually have some fun. Perhaps my biggest frustration over the years in SL was that none of my friends partook in SL fashion, except for when I was a newbie and had friends who would do MM boards but never buy. I really like to play around with outfits, and often when with friends I’ll keep changing and talking about the choices. I’d really like to meet some people who enjoy doing the same thing.

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This is my normal outfit these days. Its not an invitation to something, its just how I feel.

Second Life nudity / nudism. I really love to run around on a naked avatar. Neko or Cat Furry. It feels more natural to me. Unlike the ‘naturist’ types I also like to make my avatar very sensual in her dress, and I find this to also be perfectly natural. This can really confuse some people who are looking for ‘sexy time’ in Second Life… because that is the last thing I am seeking. I just love to be naked in Second Life. The circumstances of my Real Life make this a non-option, though it has always fascinated me. Ever since I first came to Second Life I have dabbled in it on and off again. And this being Second Life I don’t feel a need to follow the ‘constraints’ that real life nudists adhere to where they shame people who feel sensual or erotic about nudity. But I also don’t feel the need to see nudity as an invitation to something.

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I like to spice up my nude look sometimes. Its fun, sensual, and feels good to do.

I would love to have some friends that equally enjoyed that, and that sought to spice up their avatars for a sensually nude experience (ie: get a mesh body, a good skin, a good AO, and match your parts to your body, and add accessories to enhance).


So I’m putting myself out there. Hoping to breath some life back into Second Life for myself and whoever I hang out with.

I’m looking for  just a few quirky people, who might enjoy a good portion of the same things as me, who didn’t freak out at the nude pictures above, and whether old or new or in between with Second Life – want to enjoy it with others.

If you’ve wondered about getting to know me, send me a message in Second Life.

 

Judge not, lest ye be judged – an example of what that means

Reggae_SpiritualandSensual

I get it with nudism – its about self identity, expression, and acceptance of the natural. For me at least. I do find it sensual, but also spiritual. Like SL Sailing, for me it is something I can do here that I cannot do in real life.

On “The SL Naturist” there is a recent post expressing frustration about places that the poster feels ought to allow nudity which don’t. Ok, this comes about 60% of the way through the article. The first half is about something different to which I agree with the blogger, but the segue is rather natural but leads into something I felt a need to comment on.

I can certainly relate, as in my exploration of Second Life Nudism I am finding a lot of venues that just do not want me around in this current state.

Chief among them, nudist venues… Because after all, I’m a Neko in Second Life: I wear cat ears, whiskers, a tail, and tiny fangs (most SL Nekos don’t do the whiskers or fangs).

2009to2016

I’ve been a Neko since I got here. I was a nudist at first too, but don’t have good pics of that.

So I’m seeing a bit of ‘judged by your own standard’ in this. I’ve made a bit of a comment, and decided to reflect on it more here:

A lot of things about what people expect to be “normal” carry through from RL into SL, and you get a lot of places that as such reject the notion of true self-image-exploration (a deeper level than just body acceptance, rather accepting the self image others find to explore).

Before criticizing all those places that reject nudity, look to all of the nudist sims that lock it down to ‘100% human avatar’ only. It is two forms of the same problem: a rooting in pushing one’s own notion of what kind of personal exploration is to be done onto others rather than just onto one’s own personal conduct.

A logical response to my comment of course points out that some social norms stick for good reason: rejecting ‘ageplay’ for example. While other things that are supposed to be rejected don’t get rejected, such as the rampant sexism and racism seen in SL despite both of these things being against the ToS as repugnant. But the best way to sum up how all of this should be looked at is the rule found in almost every faith or moral system: treat others with dignity, don’t do any harm, and realize you will be judged by your own standard.

Which comes back to my first point: if an SL nudist is frustrated with places that ban nudity that ought to allow it, they should begin by looking at the policies of the nudist venues they frequent – one’s own standard often comes back to oneself.

The disclaimer for my comments: I’m a frequent nudist in SL, who as a Neko is not allowed in most SL nudist venues. So my comment is “defensive”.

Its a lesson I’ve failed on myself as well, and I know from enough decades on this planet that I will fail on this again. So I’m not trying to say this from some high horse… but rather from both sides of being experienced here…SelfPortraitofaSelfPortrait

Judge not, lest ye be judged. We’ve all heard that phrase. This is what it means… that in all things you will be judged by the very methods and standards you use to judge others. So before you make any rules or judgements, do some serious thinking about what you are trying to achieve with that, why you’re setting up that standard, and if someone had something against your particular angle on life – if you’d be comfortable using your very standards against you.

That lesson goes beyond Second Life of course.

Here in Second Life, just consider that if you restrict others for reasons of your own comfort level or roleplay or self-exploratory goals; expect that some of those others will likewise restrict you for their own comfort and reasons that exist wholly outside your understanding.

Sometimes its best to try to be accepting. We all fail at that – but failure just means to pick oneself up and try a little better next time.

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See, I did start as a nudist, but my pics back then had other issues… And can you believe this skin was labeled as “dark”, and actually was the darkest skin I could find as a newbie. That said, back in 2009 people accepted me almost everywhere I went, dressed like this and sometimes the other 2009 pic above.

 Oh and PS: I can’t go sailing in real life… because my reaction to water is very catty, even though I love the stuff and swim better than a fish. And I’m not a real life nudist because I live in the middle of a dense urban environment with not much room or space to get away and a background that didn’t even make it an option to ‘get out’ until I was in my 20s. So these are things I explore in SL.

 

 

 

Must Read article: “I, Racist”

My post today has nothing to do with Second Life, except that everything in the article is even more strongly re-enforced in SL’s absurdly over-white presence than in ‘real life’.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/john-metta/i-racist_b_7770652.html
True for brown as well as black – we think in terms of we because we are not allowed to think in terms of ‘I’.

Black people think in terms of we because we live in a society where the social and political structures interact with us as Black people.

White people do not think in terms of we. White people have the privilege to interact with the social and political structures of our society as individuals. You are “you,” I am “one of them.”

[whites are] unable to differentiate [their] participation within a racist system (upwardly mobile, not racially profiled, able to move to White suburbs, etc.) from an accusation that [they], individually, [are] a racist. Without being able to make that differentiation, White people in general decide to vigorously defend their own personal non-racism, or point out that it doesn’t exist because they don’t see it.

. . .

Living every single day with institutionalized racism and then having to argue its very existence, is tiring, and saddening, and angering. Yet if we express any emotion while talking about it, we’re tone policed, told we’re being angry. In fact, a key element in any racial argument in America is the Angry Black person, and racial discussions shut down when that person speaks. The Angry Black person invalidates any arguments about racism because they are “just being overly sensitive,” or “too emotional,” or- playing the race card. Or even worse, we’re told that we are being racist (Does any intelligent person actually believe a systematically oppressed demographic has the ability to oppress those in power?)

But here is the irony, here’s the thing that all the angry Black people know, and no calmly debating White people want to admit: The entire discussion of race in America centers around the protection of White feelings.

Ask any Black person and they’ll tell you the same thing. The reality of thousands of innocent people raped, shot, imprisoned, and systematically disenfranchised are less important than the suggestion that a single White person might be complicit in a racist system.

This is the country we live in. Millions of Black lives are valued less than a single White person’s hurt feelings.

As a Mulato with an African avatar, I’ve seen this dynamic all my life, and recreated inside of SL – where I get ‘grouped’ one way if I note that I am Mulato, and yet another if people just see the black avatar; but neither as an individual. And as the article notes, it is impossible to talk about race with whites because they are conditioned into denial.

They named a Kink & D/s sim for my Real Life religion – offensive?

RastaSim.png

Location of this pic:

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Rasta/116/99/22

Consider this analogy:

Says it is D/s inspired. If I got a sim and named it ‘Jew’ and made it a place for Southern Biker gang RP, would that be offensive? Yes. But would it be offensive enough to get pulled? Think on that.

I use that analogy because ‘Southern Biker Gang RP’ is not offensive by itself. D/s and Kink people are perfectly legitimate roleplays in Second Life. I don’t get them or agree with them, but I accept them and accept that people should have a space to self explore themes of importance to them as long as it is not hateful to others.

It is the mix I am trying to get across in that analogy… If you took a theme that is way out of step with a real world faith community, and named it after that community… isn’t that crossing a line?

Let alone that if you names a sim ‘Jew’ or ‘Muslim’ or ‘Catholic’ it would and should get heightened scrutiny…

How should I act over this. I know how I feel over it.

This is not what Rasta is about. In fact its pretty much in opposition to what Rasta is.

Now for contrast look at this sim:

RastasSim_001
Not only do I not mind this one, I kind of want to get a Linden Home here. Except it turns out this is just a park sim and the homes in the background there are all just across the sim border.

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Rastas/96/38/41

Why the difference? This second place is neutral in tone. No reference to any theme in the sim itself. And as a park sim, a place that is named for a real world religious community cannot get ‘messed with’ by people with bad intent or lack of knowledge.

I could actually feel a sense of comfort if I won the Linden Home lottery and got a spot bordering there.

 

And yes I know that as I am a sometimes SL Nudist people will wonder why I am objecting to a sim with the above mixed themes. But again I’m not objecting to the themes – I’m objecting to them being placed within the specific context of a sim named for my religion.

PS: Comments from random bigots pointing out how they could ‘find anything to get offended about’ will be deleted for the bigoted spam that they are…

Changes over the years… Journeying through myself.

How has your look changed over the years? What does this mean for you, and what has driven the choices you’ve made in expressing yourself in Second Life?

For me this has all been about a journey through sensuality, spirituality, and self-identity.

I went looking, and found some of the first images I took of my avatar in Second Life. I’ve put one here next to an image I took over the weekend of my avatar on a new spot of land I’ve got:
2009to2016
I am actually still wearing one item in common in both of these… fangs. I’m probably the only neko that wears fangs, and one of the few that uses whiskers. And as far as I know… it is still the same pair of them after all these years. Just about everything else has changed though.

Originally I wanted dark skin for my avatar, like I now have. But in 2009 the shade you see on the left was the darkest tone I could find, as a newbie.

Self identity changes over time, and I find it very interesting to look back at the journey of self exploration.

I’m a very introspective person – I self analyze a lot. For me that is a big part of being alive. But its also something I’ve been tossed into by the nature of my existence as a multi-racial person born before that was common or acceptable in the USA. My parents where married the same year as the Loving v. Virginia case and my eldest sibling was born right after the decision in that case came down. There actually was a judicial action to prevent my parents from being together on the grounds of miscegenation (race mixing), and I very much owe my existence to the impact of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr‘s civil right’s movement – which had changed the minds of the right people, including those who helped my parents overcome the challenge that was actually brought by my grandparents…

So thinking on who and what I am has been critical to my sense of self from the beginning.

As is known, I am not ‘African American’, yet my avatar is African. But there is a funny footnote to this because I recently found through DNA that I am in fact part African. Yet I grew up under the perception that I was an Asian / Amazon Indian / Caucasian / Cherokee mix. In place of Cherokee, I instead have a number of things from West and North Africa, and the Caucasian turned out to be different parts of Europe than family history had said. So one side of my family has a complete falsehood for every aspect of its ancestry.

Genealogical exploration is a pretty common thing for Americans to get into. We often find surprises. So that’s not the real trigger for me in being introspective. Rather being what Americans consider mixed-race has been the trigger.

I belong to no ethnic group.

When you don’t belong to any of them, all of their various members are very keen to point this out to you on many occasions in your life. It one thing to be the ‘other’ from that other tribe… but when you are the racial equivalent of a ‘stateless‘ person – you have no place to ‘escape back to’. There is no tribe standing around waiting to help me form an identity… I had to carve it out myself through some very rough experiences – some as recent as experiences I have had in some Second Life forum communities. No matter what I state as my ethnicity, I can be called out as a Rachel Dolezal – and I’ve been getting that accusation since I was 5 years old and my mother was trying to put me in Kindergarten… Every action, every thought, every preference gets judged by hostile mono-ethnic people seeking to hold on to their territory.

I am an eternal fake, and because of this I have to get very real.

Most people take for granted the vast bulk of their identity, cultural, belief system, even appearance. I have no such luxury. A person gets very introspective very fast in this situation.

So Second Life has been a blessing for me as a place where I can literally put on a skin, and explore an identity. Through that I learn so much about myself. I find where I stand on issues, how I can shape my sense of sense, and I can stake out an identity that people cannot take away from me and tell me I don’t have a right to because I’m not enough of their kind or another kind of blood for their liking.

And it has been a long and well worthwhile ride.

I didn’t come to Second Life to explore myself. I actually came here to get some goodies for the Poser 7 Launch event, and found out to my disappointment that the goodies were just goodies for a Second Life avatar. That is why my first attempt at Second Life only lasted 2 days in 2006.

One day in 2009 I was bored, and I was browsing or reading something that mentioned Second Life. So I wondered if it would load on my then computer. I looked through my files and found my old avatar’s name, guessed the password (or the forget password stuff, I don’t remember) and logged in. I spent a few days wandering around.

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Close to day 3 of my return to SL. I got by, barely. I think its funny that I had a newbie prop on down below… Even back then I was keenly aware of how lacking the SL Avatar is.

The 2009 image above is actually my 2006 avatar and not Pussycat. Pussycat was born about 10 days later, because I very strongly didn’t like the avatar name I had.

On coming back in, I had randomly clicked something and found myself wearing a Neko avatar. It was a very crude free one – but it clicked right away.

I had found myself. Now I needed to name myself. I tried a dozen variations on neko, cat, pussy (erm…), kitty, catnip, calico, even koyangi (Korean for cat) and gato (yeah, gato made it into my mind but not as far as they keyboard because that is just way too manly), kittylicious (yeah… /fail) and yes, pussycat.

Somehow even though Pussycat was taken with a few other last names, it was not taken yet with ‘Catnap’… So off I went. I’m glad I ended up with this name… its very fitting for how my personality in SL wavers in different directions. Saying just parts of my name, or where you put the emphasis, can lead to very different meanings. Some people like to just call me ‘PC’ or ‘Cat’ because typing it all out makes them a little nervous I guess. Actually its a handy name for seeing how someone else is seeing you…

So I began in 2009 in SL looking for the sensual side of things. The image I used to start this blog was not the first one I took, the first one was a bit more… intense and unclothed. The 2016 image I used is unclothed, but is a normal pose.

Dancing_SexyNudeBeach

You can see the beginnings of some of my current style. There are my teeth, my eye color, and a lighter shade of red hair. And the face is actually not far off from the dials I use now. I used to love that little video game remote, and kept it on every outfit for a good year.

I spent a few months exploring that scene. I think a lot of people who come to SL have to go through that and they either stay with it or move on. I more or less moved on. But in the journey I also realized that I really like the idea of being clothes free, minus the weird politics of naturists.

I even tried exploring the adult erotic side of Second Life. But I quickly learned this was not me. In part due to encounters with S/m people. It took me some time to be able to relate to people from the S/m community because I am very militant about Equal Rights and even a roleplayed expression of submission or dominance bothers me. That has not changed, and will not change. What changed for me over time was learning that these people truly feel their relations are equal, so I accept them for themselves while recognizing that I am on a very different path.

However a major break for me on the erotic side of Second Life was just realizing I found these little cartoons engaged in ‘the act’ to be comedy, while others were trying to truly express themselves or have an experience in those moments. I felt it would be rude of me to be laughing while the others were feeling something more.

After a time I started to try and expand my perspective. I think finding the shop Bare Rose was key here – it was and is a Cosplay place, so there were all kinds of outfits in radically different styles, and they were cheap. At the time usually 150-250L for a full outfit. So each time I bought one, I could put it on, run around, and see if it felt like I’d found a new me. After I went premium most of my weekly money went to this shop throughout much of 2009.

Proportionstesting

Here you can see that even by July 15, 2009 I was already obsessed with fixing the bad proportions of the SL avatar.

I went premium about a month and a half back into SL. That really changes things. Premium is a commitment. Its not just renting a spot somewhere, once you’re premium you can see the bank statement, you’ve “subscribed” to this “free to play MMO” and there’s some land out there somewhere that you now have the privilege to buy, and once you… you’ve got to make sure you got your money’s worth out of it. So once you have your own land you end up spending a lot of time on it, and that time is often alone.

FirstSLHome_July21

I didn’t know at the time that it was my own trees there that caused this home to be super laggy at ground level. This was taken on July 21, 2009. Probably a few days into owning the place. I remember being so proud of my build, and that I had managed to find a rare roadside spot. Back then not much land was abandoned… The unpaved road is actually the bottom right corner of the top image – diagonally butting up against where I put plants.

Wandering through various Second Life clubs led me down the path of a spiritual awakening. Reading a random notecard left outside a Reggae Club got me curious. It was a card about Rastafarians, but it wasn’t very thorough. When you’re introspective the simple answers never work for you – so I went off to read more, and came back realizing I was always Rasta. Now Rasta is very much a leftist movement, not a liberal one. There is a marked difference that many people don’t understand. But it is also militantly non-violent, unlike your usual leftist movement – and that can lead many to mistake it for a liberal movement.

But I’m not exactly on the same page as the Rastafari in every aspect. I’m more fond of the sensual, and I take the Equal Rights and Justice angle to mean such for everyone. So as Apple Gabriel says, Give them Love.

Rasta is not a unified doctrine, unlike many organized religions. Each of us finds our path within that core concept of Equal Rights and Justice and the recognition of Yeshua Christ, Ras Tafari (Haile Selassie), and the holy land of Ethiopia – home of the oldest branch of Christianity, that predates the Catholics.

ExploringFurry

I didn’t start with cats for Furry. No, I made an alt just to get a furry look, and started with this.

After a journey through ‘am a furry’, I moved away from nudity. This was some time after finding Rasta, but before I was openly talking Rasta everywhere I went in Second Life.

Furry is interesting to me, in that I see the spiritual nature of an anthropomorphic self. A sort of ‘totem animal spirit’ if you will. In that regard I enjoy furry avatars a lot. But I’m not a part of furry culture at all. It baffles me, and I humor it. No opinions either negative or positive though.

Furries are very often gender ambiguous though (hermaphrodite avatars), and that is something I don’t relate well to at all. It is a common theme in Second Life, and I am accustomed to accepting it, but I don’t relate to it. I’m a leftist, but I’m not exactly a liberal.

PussycatCatnap_Egyptian

Now there’s a riot of themes.

I tried using Second Life to explore Rasta. I made a club, I wandered through events and other clubs, I made groups, and so on. Nothing really ever clicked here. There are a lot of people wandering around in SL with Rasta themes lightly in their look or venue – but they’re closer to what Rasta calls a Rentafari. A Rentafari is a male prostitute with dreadlocks who services white tourist women…

So yeah, that is an insult. What I found in SL was a bunch of people who equated Rasta with a black version of Cheech and Chong, for white people. Go to Reggae clubs, and they are usually run by white women, or Rentafari men.
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So I kinda pulled back a bit from Second Life as my journey through Rasta kicked off.

Some might see me as appropriating by having a black avatar, or even in that my religion is Rastafari. But you should look to a person’s intentions, words, and deeds before going down that path. Snoop Lion is a black man who has been rightfully called out as appropriating Black Culture, while Jah Sun is a white man who is very real in where he stands.

When I go down a path, I go deep. As an introspective person I can’t just grab the surface of something. The Rentafari experience will not do for me because I see it as fake and that spoils it. I may love running around as a naked avatar, but I also have a very deep sense of the spiritual – and using religion to sell sex rubs me wrong. Even if I at the same time embrace the sensual in the spiritual.

Its a bit like the difference between Leftist and Liberal (think Malcolm X vs. Martin Luther King Jr). You might not see it, but its there, and pretty concrete. The sensual and spiritual go together naturally, but to use one to sell the other is a perversion of both.

So when I came back around to being active with Second Life, I started toning myself down a bit. That’s more or less where my break with nudity first occurred. In part also driven by the virulent racism I encountered on the SLU forums. I decided to stop engaging in some circles, and to alter my image a bit.

MeditationBuild

That’s about when I started calling my supposed shop in SL ‘Zion Kitty’, as a way to announce that I was looking at things spiritually now.

Rastafari Building in SeconfLife
Not too long after I even put up a Rasta ‘Church’ build based on a temple in Ethiopia. Churches as a building / location is not a Rasta thing, and that is why I eventually took that place down. People should gather anywhere to be spiritual, and without leaders. Pastors, Rabbis, Imams, and Priests are all mankind’s method of stealing spirituality from one in order to give political power to another.
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That is something I’ve always known, and had to remind myself of.

Second Life has been a very useful tool for me in exploring identities, and in finding my spiritual self. It has also re-affirmed for me the notion that the spiritual is not in conflict with the sensual unless one is used to sell the other.
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And that is a bit of why I have returned to being openly nude in Second Life. I see nothing wrong with this and my spiritual side. And whereas I have a lifetime of people challenging me for my mere existence in my real life, in my SL I can stand up and say that and hold to it. It is me, it is how I genuinely intuit my reality.

Reggae_SpiritualandSensual

As I recently noted in my post about Nudity in Second Life:

For me, nudity, even public nudity, is a spiritual thing. I suspect that confuses a lot of people. We are born nude, we are created nude, we return to a natural state when this life ends.
. . .
For me, the nude form is a spiritual form. Yes it is also a sensual, in fact erotic form. And these are all by intent, by design. By Jah will. We are made to love each other, to strive for community, caring, and an appreciation of the beauty of life and the beauty within each other and ourselves.

And while that is not necessarily something I learned in Second Life, it is something I hold firm to. And it is something that Second Life is perfectly suited for letting me express.

Fake non-person with no ‘branded identity’ who belongs to none of your ethnicities that I am, I come here to get real.

This is a part of my journey.


So where are you headed?

 

 

 

Page on Nudism and Nude friendly places in Second Life

I’ve added a “page” (untimed article, so it doesn’t show on the wordpress timeline) to my site here on the topic of Nudism and nude friendly places in Second Life. In future it will be found on my list of callout links on the side of the blog.

Pussycat_As_Baba

When I was new to Second Life, naked avatars were everywhere. Mainland was full of people running around nude either in a liberated state or in some form of kink-wear. Two very different communities, but each sharing that same space in the Second Life social dynamic.

Nudity in Second Life seems to be a rarer thing now. The Terms of Service have not changed, but the Second Life community has. It is not all too different from any other fad I guess, including Neko – which was everywhere when I joined, and now its rare for me to find another Neko.

I’m hoping I can either stir up some interest, or get some help in finding places to go that I have overlooked.

So, enjoy the full page, and send me some suggested places.

 

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